I am the Queen of Awesome. My words do not represent my employer, but I bet you already knew that.
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Clarence Thomas Announces 50% Discount On All Favorable Rulings

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WASHINGTON—Telling Americans that they must act now to avoid losing out on the chance of a lifetime, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas announced at a press conference Monday a 50% discount on all favorable rulings. “Today and today only, I’m offering half off on tilting any jurisprudence in your favor—all principles must go!” said the associate justice, who went on to list issues including abortion, voting rights, interstate commerce, social media regulations, and gun ownership by domestic abusers that could now be decided at a steep discount. “Brown v. Board of Education? Gone. Gideon v. Wainwright? Finito. Miranda v. Arizona. Poof! Just mention the code SCOTUS before your oral arguments and we’ll take it from there. Act soon, because this opportunity is running out!” Thomas added that if buyers jumped on this deal in the next hour, he would throw in a ruling overturning Loving v. Virginia’s interracial marriage protections for the low, low price of a single Rolex.

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angelchrys
8 minutes ago
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Overland Park, KS
acdha
3 hours ago
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Washington, DC
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I Am Being Impeded In My Work

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I brought my laptop downstairs for a change of scenery whilst I work, and was immediately colonized by a cat. Typing is difficult. This may be my last communication to you, at least until the cat moves, and we all know how that goes.

If indeed this is the end for me, know that my last thought was to wish you a pleasant weekend.

— JS

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angelchrys
3 days ago
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Overland Park, KS
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Swim On 2023 Pieces

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Cover of the Swim On: Mangroves zine, showing a drawing of a small lemon shark swimming through mangrove roots. The title “Swim On Mangroves” is above the water’s surface, and “edited by Jey Pawlik” in the sand below the shark.

Illustration of four guitarfish swimming around in front of sheet music of “My Guitar Gently Weeps”. The whole piece is done in halftones on a cream coloured background.Illustration of a cartoon great white shark front and center, it’s very blocky and has some scars on its body. The background is a pixel coral reef.Back cover of the Swim On: Mangroves zine, showing a drawing of a shadowed shark swimming through the water behind large mangrove roots. Text above the water’s surface reads “Thanks for your support” with a Swim On logo at the bottom of the piece.

Forgot to post my Swim On pieces from last year’s zine! I drew some guitarfish (which are technically sharks but also rays), and then a collab with my nephew of a great white he drew (I cleaned it up, coloured and did the background). If you missed it, be sure to check out the Swim On zine I run every year!

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angelchrys
3 days ago
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Overland Park, KS
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New Law Requires SNAP Recipients To Balance Food On Nose Until Receiving...

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New Law Requires SNAP Recipients To Balance Food On Nose Until Receiving Command To Eat It. “‘There’s no reason why working-age, able-bodied food stamp recipients can’t show us that they’re very good boys,’ said House Speaker Mike Johnson.” Pitch perfect.

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angelchrys
3 days ago
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Overland Park, KS
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John Oliver has offered Clarence Thomas a $2 million tour bus &...

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John Oliver has offered Clarence Thomas a $2 million tour bus & $1 million per year if he retires from the Supreme Court immediately. “And all you have to do…is sign the contract and get the fuck off the Supreme Court.”

💬 Join the discussion on kottke.org

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angelchrys
6 days ago
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Overland Park, KS
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Hello everyone! The word is out – I am writing a book!

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Hello everyone! The word is out – I am writing a book!

If you ever wanted to read a book about McMansions, 5-over-1s, the ignoble toil of architects, ridiculous baubles for rich people, hostile architecture, private equity, shopping (rip), offices (rip), loud restaurants, and starchitects who behave like tech founders, this is the book for you!

Thank you all for your support throughout the years – without you this would not be possible. And don’t worry, I’ll still be blogging throughout it all, so stay tuned for this month’s post.

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angelchrys
10 days ago
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Overland Park, KS
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